Bears v Packers: 10-7-07

BEARS VS. PACKERS: 10-7-07

Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Green Bay Packers, a team whose resurgence is powered by the cheese-fed arterio-sclerotic genius of Brett Favre. Will the Bears defense force Favre to try to save his team all by his lonesome? Or will the Packers score 60 points during the last two minutes of each half?

To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles Lucifer Red-beard, Modre the font of trans-Western wisdom, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky Mc Dumb-ass.

SR: ARRRH, mateys! After I constructed a fetish of Captain Stubing from TV’s Love Boat, I commanded him to reveal this week’s sure-fire pick: ‘tis the Denver Broncos that will emerge victorious this week against the floundering San Diego Chargers.

Des: Drunky Mc Dumb-ass. What’s happening in tailgate-land?

DMD: My kids wandered off and I’m missing my Bloody Mary thermos. I’ve got more tomato juice, though. Go Bears!

Des: Modre. What are your thoughts?

Modre: The Bears must master the art of striking their opponents unawares. Therefore, Brian Griese must blind the Packers defense with dazzling offensive plays. Or flash paper.

Des: Concord Peabody. Who will win?

CWP: Well, the Bears are 7-4 lifetime against teams located above the 38th parallel. Go Bears!

Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?

PM: As Jean-Paul Sartre once said, “Hell is for other people.” Unless you’re a Cubs fan.

Des: Sit back and watch in your inflatable Bears chair, as the Bears grapple in a match that will make you forget that the Presidential race has already been decided in secret.