02-04-07 Bears vs. Colts

02-04-07: BEARS VS. COLTS

Des: Welcome to the Super-bowl edition of the Chicago Bears football pre game show.

The Bears face off against the Indianapolis Colts, as predicted by Captain Redbeard during Week 2 of the regular season. Will the Bears complete their improbable journey to championship greatness? Or will Payton Manning finally silence the critics of his ubiquitous Visa ads?

To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles Tomczak Redbeard, Modre the font of trans-Western wisdom, the Prissy Minion, and disgruntled ’87 Spare Bear, Bjorn Stangerland.

SR: ARRRH… Well, Father Neptune, whose dolphin-esque melodic revelations foreshadowed this year’s Super-bowl, and who be the source of all true wisdom, both on and off the Seven Seas, has once again chosen me as his Earthly vessel. By staring into a toilet bowl until Neptune’s visage replaced my own, I have divined a Bears victory as Payton Manning will somehow throw interceptions into the arms of every single Bears defenseman. ‘Twill be the first Super-bowl won without the winning team’s quarterback throwin’ a single pass.

Des: Thank you, Captain. Concord Peabody. What are your thoughts about the Super-bowl?

CWS: I am fully prepared to add another level to my display case of my 1985 Bears action figures with the heroes of today’s Super-bowl.

Des: Bjorn Stangerland. Your response.

BS: I’m still angry that former fellow Spare Bear and New Orleans coach Sean Peyton did not beat the Bears last week.

Des: Modre, how will the Bears emerge victorious?

M: Your football Bears must become their opponents. Only slightly better.

Des: Prissy Minion. What creepy fantasy will you use to finish off this pre-game show?

PM: Oh, Des, just watching your child like joy as the Bears win another Super-bowl is enough for me.

Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in their second Super-bowl, and resist the temptation to turn over and burn your neighbors’ cars. Unless your neighbor happens to be Joe Buck.