BEARS VS. EAGLES: 10-21-07
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Philadelphia Eagles in a game that was supposed to be the marquee match-up until a resurgent Dallas Cowboys nudged the Bears out of the spotlight. Will the Bears take advantage of this opportunity to rebuild under the radar? Or will defensive injuries and erratic quarterbacking reduce the Bears to a pleasant Sunday diversion?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles Pokemon Red-beard, Modre the font of trans-Western wisdom, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky Mc Dumb-ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! The whale I slaughtered and consumed for breakfast is giving me a mighty upset stomach that not even the pinkest of bismuth can sooth. Therefore, me “upset” pick this Sunday ‘twill be the Buffalo Bills defeating the Baltimore Ravens.
Des: Uh, Captain, you do realize that none of your picks this season have won.
SR: Oh, fathers Neptune and Poseidon! Why have you forsaken me?!?
Des: Drunky Mc Dumb-ass. What’s happening in tailgate-land?
DMD: My skin is burning from using acrylic spray paint to cover my face in orange and blue. Go Bears!
Des: Modre. What are your thoughts?
Modre: For the Bears to win, they must not think bad thoughts, despite numerous opportunities they may have to do so.
Des: Concord Peabody. Who will win?
CWP: Well, the Bears are 21-11 lifetime against teams where only 37% of its members are Freemasons. I can’t say which ones, though. Go Bears!
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: As Socrates once said, "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.”
Des: How’s that woman-haters’ club coming along, Prissy? Sit back and watch in your Maury Buford… I mean, Rex Grossman… jersey as the Bears grapple in a match that will erase all doubt… that instant replay would be really bad for baseball.
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