BEARS VS. SEAHAWKS: 10-17-10
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Seattle Seahawks after defeating the Carolina Panthers despite a weak performance by backup quarterback Todd Collins. Will Jay Cutler return to reignite the Bears’ sputtering offense? Or should the Bears drop the pretense of having a quarterback and just hand it off to Matt Forte every play? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Speaker-Boxx” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! The Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, and San Francisco 49ers are 0-5 teams, which be truly embarrassing since I picked the Bills and 49ers to go to the playoffs. Just you try to collect me gambling debts, Las Vegas bookies! I think you’ll find my imaginary pirate fleet to be more than a match for your pirate-themed hotels. So… which team be truly accursed to go 0-16? I choose the San Francisco 49ers! But, please, please, do not dismiss your flamboyant skipper Mike Singletary. His psychotic rages are far more entertaining than anything else the NFL has to offer and will be the source of many, many Coors Light commercials.
Des: Uh, thank you, Captain. That’s actually one of your less disturbing tirades. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening on Football Sunday?
DMD: Des, I foresee my “Fan-bulance” being converted back to an ambulance by the end of first quarter.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against the Seattle Seahawks if Jay Cutler is unavailable?
Modre: The body cannot live without the mind. Unless you’re the Bears, in which case the body cannot live without the fleet feet of Matt Forte.
Des: Wow… Modre, that comment was actually somewhat related to football.
Modre: I hang my head in shame.
Des: Concord Peabody. Any irrelevant stats you want to share?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 57-43 lifetime when their quarterback has a single digit quarterback rating and 3-1 when they have a rating over 100.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your football posts are like paintings of Elvis on black velvet: best appreciated ironically.
Des: Uh, sit back and watch with your fake “3D” TV as the Bears face off in a rivalry as ancient as that of Sparta versus… whoever they fought, and as equally loud, with a lot of unnecessary shouting.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Bears vs. Panthers: 10-10-10
BEARS VS. PANTHERS: 10-10-10
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Carolina Panthers after Jay Cutler suffered nine first half sacks against the New York Giants. Will the Bears strengthen their offensive line to protect backup QB Todd Collins? Or should the Bears have ten quarterbacks waiting in the wings? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Stone Cold” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Here be my prediction for this Sunday: the price of gold will skyrocket after me crew and I shanghai the gold shipment used to pay Titans’ coach Chuck Cecil’s fine for giving the finger to an official. If I had to pay a fine every time I proudly displayed me middle hook to a deserving land-lubber, I’d be sailing the seven seas wearing naught but a barrel.
Des: Uh, thank you, Captain, for that disturbing image.
SR: By the way, Des, my report was brought to you by Captain Redbeard’s Gold Warehouse. Do you have any unwanted gold that’s cluttering up your house, car, or teeth? Then send it in to Captain Redbeard’s Gold Warehouse. In exchange for your precious, precious gold, you’ll receive a complementary pass to board one of me haunted Halloween vessels where the horrors are genuine and the stories you’ll have to pass on to your children or therapist will last a lifetime.
Des: Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening on Football Sunday?
DMD: Des, I foresee myself getting into a pleasurably wacky misunderstanding between myself and my wife/significant other in which she thinks I’m talking about buying her jewelry and I think she’s talking about buying me smooth drinking Coors Light.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against the Carolina Panthers?
Modre: When you're inside the helmet, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy.
Des: So… your strategy for defeating the Panthers is to get inside their heads?
Modre: No, my strategy is to keep quoting from The Matrix and hope nobody notices. Except for the part about being inside the “helmet”. That was an ad lib. But do my borrowed “insights” make any less sense than more traditional broadcasters Terry Bradshaw or Jimmy Johnson.?
Des: Unfortunately, no. Concord Peabody. Any irrelevant stats you want to share?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 57-43 lifetime when they play with their second string quarterback, and 9-7 when they use their first stringer.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your football posts are like a Valentine box of chocolates: a seemingly thoughtful gesture that is ultimately unconsumed and thrown away.
Des: Ouch! Uh, sit back and watch as the Bears face off in a rivalry as recent as that of Palin versus Olbermann… and as equally pointless.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Carolina Panthers after Jay Cutler suffered nine first half sacks against the New York Giants. Will the Bears strengthen their offensive line to protect backup QB Todd Collins? Or should the Bears have ten quarterbacks waiting in the wings? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Stone Cold” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Here be my prediction for this Sunday: the price of gold will skyrocket after me crew and I shanghai the gold shipment used to pay Titans’ coach Chuck Cecil’s fine for giving the finger to an official. If I had to pay a fine every time I proudly displayed me middle hook to a deserving land-lubber, I’d be sailing the seven seas wearing naught but a barrel.
Des: Uh, thank you, Captain, for that disturbing image.
SR: By the way, Des, my report was brought to you by Captain Redbeard’s Gold Warehouse. Do you have any unwanted gold that’s cluttering up your house, car, or teeth? Then send it in to Captain Redbeard’s Gold Warehouse. In exchange for your precious, precious gold, you’ll receive a complementary pass to board one of me haunted Halloween vessels where the horrors are genuine and the stories you’ll have to pass on to your children or therapist will last a lifetime.
Des: Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening on Football Sunday?
DMD: Des, I foresee myself getting into a pleasurably wacky misunderstanding between myself and my wife/significant other in which she thinks I’m talking about buying her jewelry and I think she’s talking about buying me smooth drinking Coors Light.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against the Carolina Panthers?
Modre: When you're inside the helmet, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy.
Des: So… your strategy for defeating the Panthers is to get inside their heads?
Modre: No, my strategy is to keep quoting from The Matrix and hope nobody notices. Except for the part about being inside the “helmet”. That was an ad lib. But do my borrowed “insights” make any less sense than more traditional broadcasters Terry Bradshaw or Jimmy Johnson.?
Des: Unfortunately, no. Concord Peabody. Any irrelevant stats you want to share?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 57-43 lifetime when they play with their second string quarterback, and 9-7 when they use their first stringer.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your football posts are like a Valentine box of chocolates: a seemingly thoughtful gesture that is ultimately unconsumed and thrown away.
Des: Ouch! Uh, sit back and watch as the Bears face off in a rivalry as recent as that of Palin versus Olbermann… and as equally pointless.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Bears vs. Giants: 10-3-10
BEARS VS. GIANTS: 10-3-10
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the New York Giants, a surprisingly vulnerable team in this battle between two very large television markets. Will the Giants repair their problems with turnovers, defense, and quarterbacking? Or will the Bears continue their unexpected dominance of the National Football League? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Mecha-Godzilla” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Whilst I could yield to your laborious land-lubbing demands, Des, and unveil me predictions for this week’s game, I prefer to dissect what happened last week much as I might examine the entrails of an albatross to fix the blame on one of my minions for another disastrous voyage. “Oh, don’t worry, Captain Redbeard. You won’t really fall off the edge of the earth into the mouths of numerous sea dragons. That’s just a myth spread by land-lubbers.” Five splintered vessels later….
Des: Uh, thank you, Captain. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening Sunday Night?
DMD: Des, I foresee myself getting pulled over by the cops while I’m trying to drive home with a car filled to my chin with spilled beer. Or urine. With Nine Inch Nails music playing in the background.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against the New York football Giants?
Modre: If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain
SR: Arrh, matey! Let’s see how well your brain can interpret this taser!
Modre: Je ne comprende pas!!!
SR: That’s what I thought.
Des: Concord Peabody. What’s the Bears’ key to victory?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 14-7 lifetime against teams quarterbacked by the Manning brothers—except for the Super-bowl. That was a heartbreaker.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your creative output is like Frankenstein’s monster: horribly disfigured on the surface, but nestled inside is a poignant commentary on the follies of man. Also, both are vulnerable to fire.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears face off in a rivalry as ancient as that of Stalin versus Trotsky… and as equally one-sided.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the New York Giants, a surprisingly vulnerable team in this battle between two very large television markets. Will the Giants repair their problems with turnovers, defense, and quarterbacking? Or will the Bears continue their unexpected dominance of the National Football League? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Mecha-Godzilla” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Whilst I could yield to your laborious land-lubbing demands, Des, and unveil me predictions for this week’s game, I prefer to dissect what happened last week much as I might examine the entrails of an albatross to fix the blame on one of my minions for another disastrous voyage. “Oh, don’t worry, Captain Redbeard. You won’t really fall off the edge of the earth into the mouths of numerous sea dragons. That’s just a myth spread by land-lubbers.” Five splintered vessels later….
Des: Uh, thank you, Captain. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening Sunday Night?
DMD: Des, I foresee myself getting pulled over by the cops while I’m trying to drive home with a car filled to my chin with spilled beer. Or urine. With Nine Inch Nails music playing in the background.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against the New York football Giants?
Modre: If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain
SR: Arrh, matey! Let’s see how well your brain can interpret this taser!
Modre: Je ne comprende pas!!!
SR: That’s what I thought.
Des: Concord Peabody. What’s the Bears’ key to victory?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 14-7 lifetime against teams quarterbacked by the Manning brothers—except for the Super-bowl. That was a heartbreaker.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your creative output is like Frankenstein’s monster: horribly disfigured on the surface, but nestled inside is a poignant commentary on the follies of man. Also, both are vulnerable to fire.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears face off in a rivalry as ancient as that of Stalin versus Trotsky… and as equally one-sided.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Bears vs. Packers: 9-27-10
BEARS VS. PACKERS: 9-27-10
Des: Welcome to the first edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Green Bay Packers in a game that will determine mastery of the NFC North. Will Clay Matthews continue to lead the league in sacks after this Monday Night Midwestern Matchup against the Monsters of the Midway? Or will the Bears’ offensive line prove to be as impenetrable as the logic expressed in a typical sports talk radio show? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Over the Side without a Splash” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Whilst I would thoroughly “enjoy” answering your long-winded question whose sentence structure be more twisted than the treasure map of Davey Jones himself, I have me own convoluted agenda to pursue. And that be: Redbeard’s Treasure Map to the Super-Bowl! After ingesting the lead-based paint on me decrepit vessel and gazing into the angry storm clouds I failed to avoid, these be my picks: In the AFC, I pick the Jets, Ravens, Texans, and Broncos to win their divisions. The NFC will see the Eagles, Bears, Falcons, and 49ers. And for the wild cards, I select the Bills and Browns in the AFC and the Lions and Rams in the NFC. Why the hell not?
Des: Because all four teams suck?
SR: Aye. That they do. But I think they are successfully rebuilding… which you don’t want to be doing right after your ship has just hit an iceberg. Anyway, I foresee the Jets defeating the Eagles in the Superbowl.
Des: Uh, thanks, Captain. Barely coherent commentary, as always. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening Monday Night?
DMD: Des, I foresee myself getting fired Tuesday morning when I show up for work Tuesday afternoon.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against Green Bay?
Modre: Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.
Des: Yeeeeaaah…. Concord Peabody. What’s the Bears’ key to victory?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 72-43 lifetime against teams whose fans wear crappy tri-cornered hats, whether it’s the Packers or the Patriots.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your metaphors are more mixed up than a cat in a blender.
Des: Sit back and watch with your poorly self-installed satellite dish as the Bears face off in a rivalry as ancient as that of Coke versus Pepsi… and as equally pointless.
Des: Welcome to the first edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Green Bay Packers in a game that will determine mastery of the NFC North. Will Clay Matthews continue to lead the league in sacks after this Monday Night Midwestern Matchup against the Monsters of the Midway? Or will the Bears’ offensive line prove to be as impenetrable as the logic expressed in a typical sports talk radio show? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Over the Side without a Splash” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Whilst I would thoroughly “enjoy” answering your long-winded question whose sentence structure be more twisted than the treasure map of Davey Jones himself, I have me own convoluted agenda to pursue. And that be: Redbeard’s Treasure Map to the Super-Bowl! After ingesting the lead-based paint on me decrepit vessel and gazing into the angry storm clouds I failed to avoid, these be my picks: In the AFC, I pick the Jets, Ravens, Texans, and Broncos to win their divisions. The NFC will see the Eagles, Bears, Falcons, and 49ers. And for the wild cards, I select the Bills and Browns in the AFC and the Lions and Rams in the NFC. Why the hell not?
Des: Because all four teams suck?
SR: Aye. That they do. But I think they are successfully rebuilding… which you don’t want to be doing right after your ship has just hit an iceberg. Anyway, I foresee the Jets defeating the Eagles in the Superbowl.
Des: Uh, thanks, Captain. Barely coherent commentary, as always. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What do you foresee happening Monday Night?
DMD: Des, I foresee myself getting fired Tuesday morning when I show up for work Tuesday afternoon.
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against Green Bay?
Modre: Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.
Des: Yeeeeaaah…. Concord Peabody. What’s the Bears’ key to victory?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 72-43 lifetime against teams whose fans wear crappy tri-cornered hats, whether it’s the Packers or the Patriots.
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your metaphors are more mixed up than a cat in a blender.
Des: Sit back and watch with your poorly self-installed satellite dish as the Bears face off in a rivalry as ancient as that of Coke versus Pepsi… and as equally pointless.
Bears vs. Cowboys: 9-19-10
BEARS VS. COWBOYS: 9-19-10
Des: Welcome to the first edition of the Chicago Bears football post-game show. The Bears upset the Dallas Cowboys, a team many experts picked to go to the Super-bowl this year. And by “experts”, I mean one drunk guy in a stench-ridden dive. What were the Bears’ “Keys to Victory”, brought to you by General Motors? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Chick Repellant” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! I’ll tell ye what General Motors’ Key to Victory is: massive government bailouts. (Long pause) What? That joke slayed many a land-lubber on the Glenn Beck Show yesterday.
Des: Thanks, Captain. Timely commentary, as always. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What did you see on last Sunday’s game?
DMD: Des, sorry to say, I was passed out drunk after eating sixteen Jello shots off of my massive, massive tummy. Uh, I mean stomach! Gut! Flesh kegger!
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against Green Bay?
Modre: The answer is out there, Des, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.
Des: O…Kay. Concord Peabody. What was the Bears’ key to victory?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 7-4 lifetime against teams who play in a stadium that costs more than the Gross Domestic Product of five former Soviet republics. Or five states in the American South. Go Bears!
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Outdated political references + reworked Simpsons quotes + Matrix references = Pure comedic genius
Des: We hope you enjoyed the first ever Bears Redbeard Post-Game Show and please join us for this season’s first Bears Redbeard Pre-Game Show where we’ll light a cheese-head hat on fire to keep ourselves warm inside frozen Curly Lambeau Field.
Des: Welcome to the first edition of the Chicago Bears football post-game show. The Bears upset the Dallas Cowboys, a team many experts picked to go to the Super-bowl this year. And by “experts”, I mean one drunk guy in a stench-ridden dive. What were the Bears’ “Keys to Victory”, brought to you by General Motors? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Chick Repellant” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! I’ll tell ye what General Motors’ Key to Victory is: massive government bailouts. (Long pause) What? That joke slayed many a land-lubber on the Glenn Beck Show yesterday.
Des: Thanks, Captain. Timely commentary, as always. Drunky McDumb-Ass. What did you see on last Sunday’s game?
DMD: Des, sorry to say, I was passed out drunk after eating sixteen Jello shots off of my massive, massive tummy. Uh, I mean stomach! Gut! Flesh kegger!
Des: Modre. How will the Bears do against Green Bay?
Modre: The answer is out there, Des, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.
Des: O…Kay. Concord Peabody. What was the Bears’ key to victory?
CWP: Des, the Bears are 7-4 lifetime against teams who play in a stadium that costs more than the Gross Domestic Product of five former Soviet republics. Or five states in the American South. Go Bears!
Des: Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Outdated political references + reworked Simpsons quotes + Matrix references = Pure comedic genius
Des: We hope you enjoyed the first ever Bears Redbeard Post-Game Show and please join us for this season’s first Bears Redbeard Pre-Game Show where we’ll light a cheese-head hat on fire to keep ourselves warm inside frozen Curly Lambeau Field.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Web-site is rebuilding
Arrh, mateys! Sorry about me absence of late! Me fleet of nautical vessels was tragically blown off course by the various hurricanes that have been plaguing the seven seas of late. The most tragic development this season was the destruction of me flagship vessel that contained me voluminous pirate vocabulary. Fortunately, the recent celebration of "Talk Like a Pirate Day", plus numerous casks of rum, has created a liquid foundation for me to rebuild. Meanwhile, the Bears are 2-0. Go Bears! May your foes crumble, like a, uh... I'll get back to ye! Me pirate vocab server be not working! ARRRRHHHH!!!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Bears vs. Lions: 1-3-10
BEARS VS. LIONS: 1-3-10
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Lions after an amazing win against the Vikings. Can the Bears build on their strengths displayed in last week’s game? Or will they need a new Mike Brady-esque architect to redesign the offense with Frank Lloyd Wright-style unconventionality?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Obi-Wan” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and famed advertiser of sports products, Tiger Woods.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Since the NFL season is pretty much over, these be my college bowl picks for next year: Oklahoma defeats NIU in the Empire Carpet Bowl, Texas Tech beats Indiana in the Big Scary Closet Bowl, MIT destroys Stanford in the Droid Bowl, University of Phoenix defeats DeVry in the John Madden Virtual Bowl, and Bud Light defeats Budweiser Select in the Bud Bowl.
Des: Captain, do those bowls even exist?
SR: And the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl, the County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, the Meineke Car Care Bowl, the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, and the Brut Sun Bowl should be treated with more respect just because they actually exist? Besides, once I have successfully pirated CBS’s signal during the Super-bowl, the Bud Bowl will rise again. If what’s left of the Who play “Behind Blue Eyes” during the half time show, that’s when I will take command of the airwaves.
Des: Let me take a moment to credit “Friend of the Blog” H for suggesting the bowl selection concept. I know he wanted me to wait until next December, but…
Modre: Des, your willingness to suspend Western perceptions of comedic timing will one day endear you to Eastern audiences. The true irony is that this will occur 100 years into the future.
Des: Tiger Woods. Your thoughts about the Bears.
Tiger: How much endorsement money am I being paid for this?
PM: Oh, Des. That joke was well worth waiting six weeks after the Tiger Woods story broke.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in a game brought to you by “GoDaddy.com”, where Tiger Woods will appear alongside Danica Patrick soon.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Lions after an amazing win against the Vikings. Can the Bears build on their strengths displayed in last week’s game? Or will they need a new Mike Brady-esque architect to redesign the offense with Frank Lloyd Wright-style unconventionality?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Obi-Wan” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and famed advertiser of sports products, Tiger Woods.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! Since the NFL season is pretty much over, these be my college bowl picks for next year: Oklahoma defeats NIU in the Empire Carpet Bowl, Texas Tech beats Indiana in the Big Scary Closet Bowl, MIT destroys Stanford in the Droid Bowl, University of Phoenix defeats DeVry in the John Madden Virtual Bowl, and Bud Light defeats Budweiser Select in the Bud Bowl.
Des: Captain, do those bowls even exist?
SR: And the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl, the County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, the Meineke Car Care Bowl, the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, and the Brut Sun Bowl should be treated with more respect just because they actually exist? Besides, once I have successfully pirated CBS’s signal during the Super-bowl, the Bud Bowl will rise again. If what’s left of the Who play “Behind Blue Eyes” during the half time show, that’s when I will take command of the airwaves.
Des: Let me take a moment to credit “Friend of the Blog” H for suggesting the bowl selection concept. I know he wanted me to wait until next December, but…
Modre: Des, your willingness to suspend Western perceptions of comedic timing will one day endear you to Eastern audiences. The true irony is that this will occur 100 years into the future.
Des: Tiger Woods. Your thoughts about the Bears.
Tiger: How much endorsement money am I being paid for this?
PM: Oh, Des. That joke was well worth waiting six weeks after the Tiger Woods story broke.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in a game brought to you by “GoDaddy.com”, where Tiger Woods will appear alongside Danica Patrick soon.
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