BEARS VS. EAGLES: 11-7-11
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football post-game show. The Bears defeated the Philadelphia Eagles at the so-called City of Brotherly Love, showing flashes of brilliance on the national stage and winning three consecutive games. Will the Bears continue to use pocket protection, a mighty pass defense, and the fleet feet of Forte to dominate their remaining foes and avenge last year’s NFC championship debacle? Or will they revert back to the no-protection offense and an easily-tired defense?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Savoir Faire” Red-beard, Modre- the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and the embodiment of Des’s America, Wonder Woman.
SR: ARRH, mateys! Time now for Captain Redbeard’s Chum-bucket of the NFL: The Indianapolis Colts, with their 0-8 record. If I be them, I’d be resortin’ to any dark sorcery atrocity to heal Payton Manning: voodoo, zombie-ism, vampirism, stealing the life force of entire cities, embryonic stem cell research, the NFL waiver wire…
Des: Uh, thanks, Captain. Concord Peabody. What statistical anomalies would you like to share with us?
CWP: Des, on paper, the Philadelphia Eagles should have had every advantage against the Bears: Michael Vick’s quarterbacking, plus receiver Jeremy Macklin’s adhesive hands, but they neglected one very important unseen hand: The invisible hand of Bears destiny. Is it a coincidence that the Detroit Lions have started losing games at the same time that the Bears have reemerged in the NFC North? I don’t know if the invisible hand is strong enough to wave off the stench of those Cheesehead hats, though.
Des: Modre. What are your thoughts?
Modre: Eugene V. Debs once said, “Chicago is the product of modern capitalism, and, like other great commercial centers, is unfit for human habitation.” That said, the revamped Soldier Field is very nice.
Des: Moving on, because… well, why not? Wonder Woman. How do you want to finish this off?
WW: Superman, my hubby in an alternate universe, always defeats Lex Luthor, even though Lex is much smarter. Think about it, liberals! And yes, I use the phrase “think about it” ironically. By the way, genius = evil.
Des: …which is why I’ve dumbed down this website. The reading grade level equivalent of this post: 7.6. Check it out for yourself.
Showing posts with label Philadelphia Eagles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philadelphia Eagles. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Bears vs. Eagles: 11-28-10
BEARS VS. EAGLES: 11-28-10
Des: So here I am at the Las Vegas airport on a layover on a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Manchester, NH, drinking a $12 gin and tonic at the Fox Sports Bar after losing five dollars at the airport slots, awaiting the start of the Bears/Eagles game. (All true so far... now begins the descent/ascent into madness) Since the standard fare of Bradshaw, Johnson, et al, are not entertaining me, let's bring forth my regular imaginary crew of prognosticators to preview this Bears game.
SR: ARRRHHHH, mateys! All of professional football is darkened under the shadow of the NFL's looming lookout of 2011. The NFL Players' Association is claiming that an average of about $160 million in local spending and 3,000 jobs would be lost in each league city if the full 2011 season were wiped out. This presumes that there would not be some truly magnificient scabs waiting in the wings to take over if the first string players were forced out of the pictures. And by "scabs", I'm not talking about me horrible, horrible skin condition caused by a tropical insect that scientists have yet to name. If it be up to me, I would name it Anopheles Redbeadius.
Des: I would wish you well, Captain, but I would be lying. Drunky McDumb-ass. Since we seem to be inexplicably trapped in the same sports bar, what are your observations?
DMD: I'm very traumatized, Des. I ordered a light beer that I guess is very weak because the super-hot bartender made fun of my clothes, then punched me in the heart and took my money. How was I supposed to know that smooth-drinking Coors Lite was the only socially acceptable lite beer for men to drink?
Des: Thanks to Coors Brewery's sponsorship of this proud web-site, now everyone knows.
Modre: If by "everyone", Des, you mean the four or five friends you lost contact with years ago who might mistakenly "rediscover" this blog, then by all means, retreat into your comforting delusion.
Des: Concord Peabody, what data is going into your victory factory this week?
CWP: That's a Victory Factor, not factory, Des. If you combine the running yardage of Matt Forte, the quarterback proficiency of Jay Cutler, and the existential despair felt by the Eagles for playing in a city that is a hollow mockery of the once proud capital city of America, I give the Bears a Victory Factor of 97.9.
Des: Hey, is Johnny B. still the morning guy for 97.9?
CWP: Des, that reference will only appeal to a rapidly dying demographic.
Des: Ouch! Prissy Minion, how do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your blog posts are like an old, familiar shoe... the stench may be overpowering, but it's too comfortable to part with.
Des: Well, I'll sit back and watch with my insanely overpriced drink as the Bears face off in a match that may help me forget the searing humiliation I faced going through airport security!
Des: So here I am at the Las Vegas airport on a layover on a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Manchester, NH, drinking a $12 gin and tonic at the Fox Sports Bar after losing five dollars at the airport slots, awaiting the start of the Bears/Eagles game. (All true so far... now begins the descent/ascent into madness) Since the standard fare of Bradshaw, Johnson, et al, are not entertaining me, let's bring forth my regular imaginary crew of prognosticators to preview this Bears game.
SR: ARRRHHHH, mateys! All of professional football is darkened under the shadow of the NFL's looming lookout of 2011. The NFL Players' Association is claiming that an average of about $160 million in local spending and 3,000 jobs would be lost in each league city if the full 2011 season were wiped out. This presumes that there would not be some truly magnificient scabs waiting in the wings to take over if the first string players were forced out of the pictures. And by "scabs", I'm not talking about me horrible, horrible skin condition caused by a tropical insect that scientists have yet to name. If it be up to me, I would name it Anopheles Redbeadius.
Des: I would wish you well, Captain, but I would be lying. Drunky McDumb-ass. Since we seem to be inexplicably trapped in the same sports bar, what are your observations?
DMD: I'm very traumatized, Des. I ordered a light beer that I guess is very weak because the super-hot bartender made fun of my clothes, then punched me in the heart and took my money. How was I supposed to know that smooth-drinking Coors Lite was the only socially acceptable lite beer for men to drink?
Des: Thanks to Coors Brewery's sponsorship of this proud web-site, now everyone knows.
Modre: If by "everyone", Des, you mean the four or five friends you lost contact with years ago who might mistakenly "rediscover" this blog, then by all means, retreat into your comforting delusion.
Des: Concord Peabody, what data is going into your victory factory this week?
CWP: That's a Victory Factor, not factory, Des. If you combine the running yardage of Matt Forte, the quarterback proficiency of Jay Cutler, and the existential despair felt by the Eagles for playing in a city that is a hollow mockery of the once proud capital city of America, I give the Bears a Victory Factor of 97.9.
Des: Hey, is Johnny B. still the morning guy for 97.9?
CWP: Des, that reference will only appeal to a rapidly dying demographic.
Des: Ouch! Prissy Minion, how do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your blog posts are like an old, familiar shoe... the stench may be overpowering, but it's too comfortable to part with.
Des: Well, I'll sit back and watch with my insanely overpriced drink as the Bears face off in a match that may help me forget the searing humiliation I faced going through airport security!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Bears vs. Dolphins:11-18-10
BEARS VS. DOLPHINS: 11-18-10
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football post-game show. The Bears delivered a brutal shellacking to the now floundering 5-5 Miami Dolphins. Were the Bears’ swarming defense and Matt Forte’s competent ball carrying the keys to victory? And will the Bears hide those keys inside a very obvious fake rock from the Philadelphia Eagles? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Rock, Paper, Scissors” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! As a pirate, ye might be expecting me to make some sort of reference about how dolphins resemble mermaids and how that misunderstanding led to a romantic tragedy not seen since Romeo and Juliet and Aquaman versus Wonder Woman. But you would be bitterly disappointed, for I come bearing a prophetic scroll sealed in kelp by Father Poseidon himself. What visions of tomorrow’s destiny are revealed within? (Unfurls scroll) What the… “The quarterback controversy between Michael Vick and Kevin Kolb will remain unresolved?!?” This tells me nothing! (Crumples scroll in disgust) ‘Twould be better served if I read a horoscope in the lamest land-lubbing small town newspaper assembled from the dankest factories in China !
Des: Drunky McDumb-Ass. Any observations from tailgate land?
DMD: I ended up in Soldier Field jail again when I thought that a woman was coming on to me, but it turned out she was staring lustfully at a McRib sandwich.
Des: Modre. What were the Bears’ keys to victory?
Modre: There’s a difference between knowing the path and following the path.
Des: What does that mean?
Modre: Jay Cutler knows what I’m talking about.
Des: Never mind. Concord Peabody . Any irrelevant stats you want to share?
CWP: If you plug in the number of times the Bears use the “shotgun formation”, the TV advertising revenue generated by each city, and amount of time it takes to leave the home stadium parking garage into a mathematical matrix, you get Concord Peabody Victory Factor of 9.875 for the Bears.
Des: Is the Victory Factor similar to the Quarterback Rating?
CWP: Well, the quarterback rating is calculated thusly: In order to establish a maximum value for an NFL player's passer rating, a separate calculation needs to be completed involving each of the following four categories: Completion Percentage, Average Yards Per Attempt, Percentage of Touchdown Passes, and Percentage of Interceptions. If the result in any category is less than 0, the given result should be 0. If the result in any category is greater than 2.375, the given result should be 2.375. This makes the maximum possible quarterback rating for the NFL 158.3. A perfect rating requires at least a 77.5% completion rate, at least 12.5 yards per attempt, a touchdown on at least 11.875% of attempts, and no interceptions.
CWP: …whereas the Concord Peabody Formula is more like Vick’s Formula 44D, a random number with no basis is reality.
Des: Why am I not surprised? Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your football blog posts are like those little hand weights... it looks like you're doing something meaningful, but unless you're willing to risk severe back injury by doing some heavy comedy lifting, your audience won't feel the burn.
Des: Uh, sit back and watch as the Bears face off in a rivalry as multi-faceted as Brittany Spears versus Madonna... and as predictable.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football post-game show. The Bears delivered a brutal shellacking to the now floundering 5-5 Miami Dolphins. Were the Bears’ swarming defense and Matt Forte’s competent ball carrying the keys to victory? And will the Bears hide those keys inside a very obvious fake rock from the Philadelphia Eagles? To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Rock, Paper, Scissors” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and tailgater extraordinaire, Drunky McDumb-Ass.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! As a pirate, ye might be expecting me to make some sort of reference about how dolphins resemble mermaids and how that misunderstanding led to a romantic tragedy not seen since Romeo and Juliet and Aquaman versus Wonder Woman. But you would be bitterly disappointed, for I come bearing a prophetic scroll sealed in kelp by Father Poseidon himself. What visions of tomorrow’s destiny are revealed within? (Unfurls scroll) What the… “The quarterback controversy between Michael Vick and Kevin Kolb will remain unresolved?!?” This tells me nothing! (Crumples scroll in disgust) ‘Twould be better served if I read a horoscope in the lamest land-lubbing small town newspaper assembled from the dankest factories in China !
Des: Drunky McDumb-Ass. Any observations from tailgate land?
DMD: I ended up in Soldier Field jail again when I thought that a woman was coming on to me, but it turned out she was staring lustfully at a McRib sandwich.
Des: Modre. What were the Bears’ keys to victory?
Modre: There’s a difference between knowing the path and following the path.
Des: What does that mean?
Modre: Jay Cutler knows what I’m talking about.
Des: Never mind. Concord Peabody . Any irrelevant stats you want to share?
CWP: If you plug in the number of times the Bears use the “shotgun formation”, the TV advertising revenue generated by each city, and amount of time it takes to leave the home stadium parking garage into a mathematical matrix, you get Concord Peabody Victory Factor of 9.875 for the Bears.
Des: Is the Victory Factor similar to the Quarterback Rating?
CWP: Well, the quarterback rating is calculated thusly: In order to establish a maximum value for an NFL player's passer rating, a separate calculation needs to be completed involving each of the following four categories: Completion Percentage, Average Yards Per Attempt, Percentage of Touchdown Passes, and Percentage of Interceptions. If the result in any category is less than 0, the given result should be 0. If the result in any category is greater than 2.375, the given result should be 2.375. This makes the maximum possible quarterback rating for the NFL 158.3. A perfect rating requires at least a 77.5% completion rate, at least 12.5 yards per attempt, a touchdown on at least 11.875% of attempts, and no interceptions.
CWP: …whereas the Concord Peabody Formula is more like Vick’s Formula 44D, a random number with no basis is reality.
Des: Why am I not surprised? Prissy Minion. How do you want to finish this off?
PM: Oh, Des. Your football blog posts are like those little hand weights... it looks like you're doing something meaningful, but unless you're willing to risk severe back injury by doing some heavy comedy lifting, your audience won't feel the burn.
Des: Uh, sit back and watch as the Bears face off in a rivalry as multi-faceted as Brittany Spears versus Madonna... and as predictable.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Bears vs. Vikings: 11-29-09
BEARS VS. VIKINGS: 11-29-09
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Vikings after a heart-breaking loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. Will the Bears offense show some sparks of ingenuity, or a least competence? Or is that really loud ticking noise Ron Turner’s Deathclock?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Salon Haji Bahdoon” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and Horseshoe Sandwich crooner Des-boy.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! The once mighty Spanish Armada be naught but a shadow of its former self. Even incompetent lunkheads like me are able to fleece them for millions. This fate could be yours, Barack Obama, if ye reduce military expenditures by even a hay-penny. Here’s your gambling tip of the week: I’ll place me three million Euro ransom from the Spanish government on the Cleveland Browns. Mangini can’t be wrong all the time!
Des: Yeah, thanks, Captain. Modre. What should the Bears do?
Modre: American poet Adrienne Rich once said, “Every journey into the past is complicated by delusions, false memories, false namings of real events.” That’s also true of the future. And also the present!
Des: Thanks, Captain Bringdown. Des-boy. Your thoughts about the Bears
DB: Well, Des, as they say in Standard City, “When’s NASCAR on?”
Des: Prissy Minion. What bizarre compliment do you have for me this week?
PM: Oh, Des. You’re boredom’s worst nightmare. Of course, that’s also true for car accidents and train wrecks, which I also enjoy watching.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in a game brought to you by "V: the Visitors", starring Morena Baccarin, who’s inching closer to replacing my 20 year old picture of Janeane Garofalo on my screen saver.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Vikings after a heart-breaking loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. Will the Bears offense show some sparks of ingenuity, or a least competence? Or is that really loud ticking noise Ron Turner’s Deathclock?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Salon Haji Bahdoon” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and Horseshoe Sandwich crooner Des-boy.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! The once mighty Spanish Armada be naught but a shadow of its former self. Even incompetent lunkheads like me are able to fleece them for millions. This fate could be yours, Barack Obama, if ye reduce military expenditures by even a hay-penny. Here’s your gambling tip of the week: I’ll place me three million Euro ransom from the Spanish government on the Cleveland Browns. Mangini can’t be wrong all the time!
Des: Yeah, thanks, Captain. Modre. What should the Bears do?
Modre: American poet Adrienne Rich once said, “Every journey into the past is complicated by delusions, false memories, false namings of real events.” That’s also true of the future. And also the present!
Des: Thanks, Captain Bringdown. Des-boy. Your thoughts about the Bears
DB: Well, Des, as they say in Standard City, “When’s NASCAR on?”
Des: Prissy Minion. What bizarre compliment do you have for me this week?
PM: Oh, Des. You’re boredom’s worst nightmare. Of course, that’s also true for car accidents and train wrecks, which I also enjoy watching.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in a game brought to you by "V: the Visitors", starring Morena Baccarin, who’s inching closer to replacing my 20 year old picture of Janeane Garofalo on my screen saver.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Bears vs. Eagles: 11-22-09
BEARS VS. EAGLES: 11-22-09
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Eagles on a Sunday night game, after a heart-breaking loss to Mike Singletary’s 49ers. Will the Bears redeem themselves in front of another national audience? Or will Keith Olbermann proclaim Jerry Angelo "The Worst Person in the World"?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Shave and a Haircut” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and famed deceased author Aldous Huxley.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! The only way that quarterback Jay Cutler could be more obvious in his play calling would be if he were using signaling flags. Here’s some ideas of signaling flags the Bears might want to use now: “Foxtrot: disabled” or “x-ray: stop your intention” or “Juliette: On Fire, keep clear”. Devin Hester might want to use: “LO- I am not in my correct position.” or “ZL- Your signal has been received but is not understood.” Matt Forte could use: “RU- keep clear of me; I am maneuvering with difficulty.” Lovie Smith should use: “DV- I am drifting” or “JL- I am running the risk of going aground.” This is Frank Caliendo, and my “upset special” is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defeating the New Orleans Saints.
Des: Yeah, thanks, Captain. Modre. What should the Bears do?
Modre: I am depressed that I failed to refer to “Samurai” Mike Singletary last week.
Des: Aldous Huxley. Your thoughts.
AH: Ford’s in a flivver! Sucks to your ass-mar! Molly Ringwald is so… pneumatic!
Des: Okay, then. Prissy Minion. What bizarre compliment do you have for me this week?
PM: Oh, Des. The cosine squared of your obscure references plus the sine squared of your well-timed delivery equals one satisfied customer.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in a game brought to you by "V: the Visitors", starring Morena Baccarin, who was obviously modeled after Hillary Clinton in that they are both women.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Eagles on a Sunday night game, after a heart-breaking loss to Mike Singletary’s 49ers. Will the Bears redeem themselves in front of another national audience? Or will Keith Olbermann proclaim Jerry Angelo "The Worst Person in the World"?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles “Shave and a Haircut” Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and famed deceased author Aldous Huxley.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! The only way that quarterback Jay Cutler could be more obvious in his play calling would be if he were using signaling flags. Here’s some ideas of signaling flags the Bears might want to use now: “Foxtrot: disabled” or “x-ray: stop your intention” or “Juliette: On Fire, keep clear”. Devin Hester might want to use: “LO- I am not in my correct position.” or “ZL- Your signal has been received but is not understood.” Matt Forte could use: “RU- keep clear of me; I am maneuvering with difficulty.” Lovie Smith should use: “DV- I am drifting” or “JL- I am running the risk of going aground.” This is Frank Caliendo, and my “upset special” is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defeating the New Orleans Saints.
Des: Yeah, thanks, Captain. Modre. What should the Bears do?
Modre: I am depressed that I failed to refer to “Samurai” Mike Singletary last week.
Des: Aldous Huxley. Your thoughts.
AH: Ford’s in a flivver! Sucks to your ass-mar! Molly Ringwald is so… pneumatic!
Des: Okay, then. Prissy Minion. What bizarre compliment do you have for me this week?
PM: Oh, Des. The cosine squared of your obscure references plus the sine squared of your well-timed delivery equals one satisfied customer.
Des: Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple in a game brought to you by "V: the Visitors", starring Morena Baccarin, who was obviously modeled after Hillary Clinton in that they are both women.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Bears vs. Eagles: 9-28-08
BEARS VS. EAGLES: 9-28-08
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Philadelphia Eagles, a team at the bottom of their division with a 2-1 record, while Chicago ranks 3rd with a 1-2 record. Will the Bears learn to avoid untimely penalties against their opponents? Or will an avalanche of yellow flags bury Chicago’s dreams of an 8-8 season?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles Tripod Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and providing a dead scientist's perspective: Albert Einstein.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! I be the crimson coated demon whose football predictions have filled the treasure chests of gamblers with more booty than a Congressional bailout. Attend me words as I select the winners of this week’s contests: The Buccaneers will scupper the Packers, the Raiders will plunder and impress the Chargers, the Vikings will eviscerate the Titans, and the Seahawks will… have a bye week. Here’s Red-beard’s “Must Avoid at All Costs like a Treacherous Iceberg or an Ancient Mariner’s Curse Game of the Week”: Cleveland versus Cincinnati. Why the NFL continues to waste its time with franchises in Ohio when they could transport these teams to coastal cities whose stadiums are well within the range of me naval bombardments is a question which continues to vex me.
Des: Concord Peabody. Who will win?
CP: Well, the Bears are 9-1 when Kyle Orton drinks a pitcher of White Russians before the game, whether he’s on or off the bench. Go Bears!
Des: Modre. What are your thoughts?
Modre: There’s a choice we’re making, we’re saving our own lives. It’s true, we make a better day, just you and me.
Des: We are the world, we are the children. Albert Einstein. Your impressions.
AE: Guten tag, mein Klein sportfreunds. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Des: Prissy Minion. Wrap this up!
PM: The only thing I want wrapped in a bow is you.
Des: (Note to self: Don’t let your expression betray the horror inside.) Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple for the ultimate prize: mastery of the nine realms… or a local car dealer endorsement.
Des: Welcome to another edition of the Chicago Bears football pre-game show. The Bears face off against the Philadelphia Eagles, a team at the bottom of their division with a 2-1 record, while Chicago ranks 3rd with a 1-2 record. Will the Bears learn to avoid untimely penalties against their opponents? Or will an avalanche of yellow flags bury Chicago’s dreams of an 8-8 season?
To answer these and similar questions is our panel of experts: Concord Wainwright Peabody, Captain Silas Charles Tripod Red-beard, Modre the trans-Western guru, the Prissy Minion, and providing a dead scientist's perspective: Albert Einstein.
SR: ARRRH, mateys! I be the crimson coated demon whose football predictions have filled the treasure chests of gamblers with more booty than a Congressional bailout. Attend me words as I select the winners of this week’s contests: The Buccaneers will scupper the Packers, the Raiders will plunder and impress the Chargers, the Vikings will eviscerate the Titans, and the Seahawks will… have a bye week. Here’s Red-beard’s “Must Avoid at All Costs like a Treacherous Iceberg or an Ancient Mariner’s Curse Game of the Week”: Cleveland versus Cincinnati. Why the NFL continues to waste its time with franchises in Ohio when they could transport these teams to coastal cities whose stadiums are well within the range of me naval bombardments is a question which continues to vex me.
Des: Concord Peabody. Who will win?
CP: Well, the Bears are 9-1 when Kyle Orton drinks a pitcher of White Russians before the game, whether he’s on or off the bench. Go Bears!
Des: Modre. What are your thoughts?
Modre: There’s a choice we’re making, we’re saving our own lives. It’s true, we make a better day, just you and me.
Des: We are the world, we are the children. Albert Einstein. Your impressions.
AE: Guten tag, mein Klein sportfreunds. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Des: Prissy Minion. Wrap this up!
PM: The only thing I want wrapped in a bow is you.
Des: (Note to self: Don’t let your expression betray the horror inside.) Sit back and watch as the Bears grapple for the ultimate prize: mastery of the nine realms… or a local car dealer endorsement.
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