Des: So… our Bears panel and
I kind of forgot to show up for last Sunday’s game. My excuse is that I was
drowning in paperwork and getting the house ready for Thanksgiving. What’s
everyone else’s story?
Redbeard:
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH, mateys! I was busy seizing homes that me marauding
crew and I assumed were abandoned because they still had Halloween decorations
up 22 days after that accursed holiday ended! We most harshly ransacked the
domiciles of those landlubbers that had a hung pirate upon their front lawn.
That be a macroaggression against the Brotherhood of the Briny Damp we could
not let stand! Meanwhile, what be behind the sudden surge of the Detroit Lions?
Once I had forsaken Detroit, they suddenly win two games in a row!
Des: Drunky McDumbAss. What
kept you from DesComm Worldwide?
Drunky: It’s better you don’t
know.
Des: Ellie Mae McGillicutty.
What were you up to last Sunday?
Ellie Mae: Hunting Thanksgiving.
Des: Modre. How did you while
away the hours?
Modre: Somehow trying to find
something funny with the inevitable presidency of Donald Trump, failing.
Des: Sally McChesty. Summarize
your Sunday.
Sally: “Trying to think of
ways to get Captain Redbeard to notice me.” Supposedly, to build my character,
I should have a romantic relationship “with the best thing ever, which is why I
love Captain Redbeard.” Who wrote this?
Redbeard: Look nae further!
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